Conventional Braces starting at P9999

Like glaciers and tectonic plates, teeth are slowly yet surely on the move as they attempt to turn their host’s mouth into frozen tundra and then rip it apart like a bite-size Pangaea. Defeat devious teeth with today’s Groupon. Choose from the following options:

• P9999 for installation of 1 row of conventional braces
• P14700 for installation of 2 rows of conventional braces + 6-month prophylaxis + unlimited consultation

Braces are often attached to the mouth to adjust and improve the shaping of the teeth and jaws. The application of these medieval devices cause pressure to rest on the teeth, thus balancing the incisors and canines as time goes by, having them sit in a straight row like students on days when the teacher comes to class with a fresh bag of candy; however ironic it may be that candy inversely helps the health of meat grinders. Sometimes, springs or rubber bands are attached to apply more force in specific directions, adjusted every so often to regulate the amount of movement and as to not risk the breaking of teeth or excess in pressure.

 

After the steel mouthrods are confiscated, former metal detector activators can rejoice in their new found underbitelessness, killer smile, and ability to cross airport security without causing a scene and attracting more attention than is usually preferred. The second deal also comes with a six-month oral prophylaxis or teeth cleaning, where a toothologist scrapes away mouth germs, scrubbing around with an industrial strength-whirling toothbrush, and tugging ceaselessly at month-old spinach determined to settle down with a black peppercorn and live a life of fidelity in between your two front teeth. With today’s Groupon, leave with a smile bright enough to melt hearts, including your own, so be careful around mirrors.